The rubber chicken has been digested.
The platitudes have been delivered.
Football is in its gong-show season.
We present an alternative team of the year, in 4-2-3-1 formation.
To make it challenging, clubs can provide only one player, who must have been overlooked in the PFA awards:
Jussi Jääskeläinen (Bolton)
Deserved better than the humiliation of conceding five at Wembley. Matchless consistency over 14 seasons.
Martin Kelly (Liverpool)
Progress slowed by injury, but a prospective England international. Trail blazer for the undervalued Anfield Academy.
David Luiz (Chelsea)
Sideshow Bob meets Franz Beckenbauer. Defender with the nerve of a matador, the sensitivity of a poet, and the ruthlessness of an assassin.
Roger Johnson (Birmingham)
Natural leader, who proves that Championship players can take the step up to the Premier League.
Leighton Baines (Everton)
Best left back in the country, whose enthusiasm makes a pleasant change from the tortured excellence of Ashley Cole.
Scott Parker (West Ham)
Who said men can’t multitask? West Ham’s captain, manager, and most effective player. A one-man team.
Cheik Tiote ( Newcastle)
Enjoy him while you can, Toon fans. Combative holding player who recycles the ball quickly and intelligently. Ideal recruit for Arsenal, or Man United.
David Silva (Man City)
He has grown into the Premier League. His movement is wonderful – a modern midfield player who combines poise and penetration.
Wayne Rooney (Man Utd)
I know, I know. He’s been poor, by his standards. But he’s beginning to blossom in his new quarterback role.
Matthew Etherington (Stoke City)
His personal and professional lives are sorted. Gives Stoke the additional dimension of pace and width.
Darren Bent (Aston Villa)
Shaped seasons of two clubs – Sunderland can’t replace him, Villa can’t do without him.
